My very last shift at work today. I know I’m going to be very emotional. Despite everything that has happened, i’m going to miss this place dearly and some of the incredible people I’ve met. The team is amazing, I really felt like I was a part of a family and they made me feel valued. I’m going to take away some very special memories, some good, some sad, life lessons, knowledge and skills I will truly cherish. I’ve really grow up as a person here and will never forget the opportunity to work in such a great independent business.
I know leaving is the absolute best thing to do. I’m removing myself from a negative situation and this will intimately make me feel happier as a person. I didn’t get the closure I hoped to get but it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m feeling so much more positive about the future now and I’m excited for new opportunities.
I did it! I handed that letter in at the end of shift to my HR Manager and I can leave at the end of next week. Literally feel like the biggest weight has been lifted. I’m filled with so many mixed emotions but mostly I am relieved and excited to try something new and move on from this.
I feel very conflicted about leaving this job. I know that its mostly in my best interest to leave the business mentally, emotionally and perhaps professionally for me. It’s so hard to actually do it because I know how much I’m going to miss it, It’s caused me so much grief and sadness but I’ve had some experiences since being here I truly cherish and I don’t know whether I’m ready to leave and say goodbye.
reasons to stay:
reasons to leave:
Clearly the reasons to leave weigh out the reasons to stay. I’m sure it sounds silly/ridiculous I’m still there given everything that has happened. Yes the ‘situation’ has calmed down slightly but it’s still shitty. I foolishly have the glimmer of hope that like… I don’t know. My friends all tell me I should leave because they know how upsetting and toxic the place is for me. I bring in that letter of resignation every time I come into work but never actually hand it in. I can’t think of a good logical reason why I find it so hard :|.
Okay so I don’t remember signing any kind of legal document or contact with the business nor have I ever received or seen any contact of employment. The only thing I signed with them in one of those ‘P# HM revenue & customs’ things, they also never checked my eligibility to work in the UK and I have never seen any document or policy about giving a notice or resigning. In fact I’m almost 100% sure I never sign an actual contact because I remember around February or march time someone telling me about a policy (I can’t remember what was the topic of conversation) in a contract I should have and I jokingly (but was being serious) said “what contract haha?” and they said “the one you signed when you first got here, you should have it” and i said “I’ve not signed anything _____”. Surly I would have explicitly remembered then because it would have been fresh in my mind. Surly if they don’t have a contract I have signed and agreed upon it wouldn’t be valid and no kind of notice period would apply to me. oh my gosh… this is a lot to think about.
This entire situation is getting worse by the day, everything I do to try to calm the situation is making it worse. I think I need to seek legal advise to help get me find out a way of getting out of this contract as soon as possible, I honestly don’t know what else to do. This whole thing is making me deeply uncomfortable and sad, I just need to be out of this right now.
I fucking hate this whole situation! I really thought about handing in that letter before work, I mean really thought it through. I asked to see my HR Manager privately and I asked if it may be possible that in September I just work purely front of house and not in the kitchen and he said yes. At the end of the day I don’t want to be jobless but I also don’t want to work with my head chef so this seems like the perfect solution, he won’t be my boss anymore.
So I’m there chopping veggies and my headchef says hello at the food service station window thing, I ignore him and carry on working and he chats with the demi chef through the window. My headchef tells the demi he can leave early and leave me if he wants, I’ve never done food service on my own on a Friday but I couldn’t exactly say ‘no i’m not okay with that.’ That whole shift he kept lingering around making me feel awkward, sending me texts like “why r u being so off?”, “I wish u weren’t so moody”, “fine be a bitch”, “oi, watch ur potions sizes”. He told me to clean the fridges out and not to leave until I have, something he has never made me do before. I only just manged to clean down the kitchen by 10pm (I usually leave and on my way home by 9:30) because of all the orders I did and I was the only one there doing friday kitchen clean down. I then begin to remove the contents of all the fridges and begin to scrub, the pot-wash guy was asking why I was doing it (because this is something I am never asked to do!) helped me. Halfway through cleaning the fridges my head chef comes in like “what are you doing Curtis?” and I say “what you requested” and he says “come on, you know me well enough to know I was joking, you can go” I honestly think he just said that because the pot-wash guy was there. He then asked for a hug and I said no.
I feel like he may make working with him the most unpleasant experience for me while he’s still my boss because what? because I refused to have sex with him, because me and his ex are on speaking terms and the proper truth came out, because i’m leaving the kitchen, because I won’t let him use me again. I have no one at work to talk to about this because every bloody loves ______ and the fact he’s worked there for 3 years. I just want out! I want nothing to do with this man and I want this to be over. I am literally crying as I type this. I just need to hold back until September.
I’ve written my letter of resignation for my HR manager tomorrow when I’m in work. I have never let my emotions make an impact my educational and professional development so much that I just give in but this needs to happen. Anger isn’t an emotion I often experience and I have never truly hated a person in my life. I have never met someone as manipulative and dishonest as my head chef, never in my life have I met someone who has made THIS furious. I just feel I need to get remove the few relationships in my life that are making me unhappy, cut all ties with them and move on to potentially better and brighter things. My new year resolution was to have fun and unhealthy relationships are not ‘fun’. I want to be happy.